I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
These tits shall not be calmed
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