nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just gift wrapped bread.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
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