Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Semen is not good for contacts.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I fill condoms, not promises.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
