I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
