you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
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