A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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