Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
