Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
