the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
