Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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