I cut my penus on the lid.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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