y did u give ur computer a hand job?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
