I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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