Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
