the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He shit in the fireplace
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
