You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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