Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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