The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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