It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
