Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
