So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
