The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
