I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
