i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
