youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
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