a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
