You made me cry and you don't even care
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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