Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
