Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
