It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
