Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
