Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
