we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
