i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
