True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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