i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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