i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
