I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
