At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
