Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
