If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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