dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
