Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
