How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize