Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
