How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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