Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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