last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
