i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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