Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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