Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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