All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
