Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
