yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
