escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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